Waiting to Die

My Grandad is staying with us for a few weeks whilst he gets eye treatment in the UK. He’s very old, 85, and up until the last few years he was quite fit and healthy for his age. He can barely walk on his own now. For someone who used to be very active even in his retirement, always out and about going to see friends or entertaining guests, shopping, I feel sad for him now he can’t do any of those things. I can see why some old people become grumpy as they grow frail, having to rely on other people for help to do most things. What do you do with your life when you’re that old? How do you pass the days?

Observing my Grandad, the only pleasure he really has, what his day to day life revolves around is the prayer. The way he meticulously prepares himself, performing ablution with presence and concentration in every motion. It reminded me of how important wudu is, that it itself is an act of worship. “The presence (khushu’) in your prayer is linked to your presence in the wudu” a teacher once told me.
Normally I would be grossed out at washing someone else’s feet but I feel honoured to help a servant of God perform this act of worship, there is much baraka to be gained from helping the elderly perform their ibadah. The feet I’m washing have stood in prayer for many more decades than I have.

It is this reason - that he has spent many years relentlessly worshipping Allah - I believe he finds so much pleasure in it. All those years performing the prayer, doing adhkar everyday must have a profound effect on the heart. Unlike the body the Ruh should grow stronger with age (if it was looked after properly during the life) therefore the Ruh’s connection to the akhira is stronger in later days. In any Masjid you’ll find it’s the really elderly people always in the first row, always look engrossed in the prayer, who go to the Masjid solely to worship; rarely have long conversations with anyone, and who always have a nurani glow about them.

At this elderly age my Grandad doesn’t have any more responsibilities, no people have rights over him, his duty to the dunya is over. His only purpose is to spend the rest of his days in worship of Allah, until he meets his Creator.

Waiting to die doesn’t need to sound so morbid, it’s the phase of life, if we are lucky enough to reach it, we are waiting to return to our Lord.